










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 674 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 107 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 21 matches | ||
| Wingman | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1414 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,263 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 753 | 33% |
| Smokes | 617 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 613 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 280 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $523,543 of utility $145 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 10 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | George omida lunga | 47% | 30 |
| #7 | le_jules | 42% | 155 |
| #8 | 撞怀 | 41% | 105 |
| #9 | Matyy | 40% | 57 |
| #10 | King Haha | 34% | 79 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | le_jules | 53 | 0.0164 |
| #2 | 撞怀 | 45 | 0.0202 |
| #3 | PotatoKing | 6 | 0.0157 |
| #4 | King Haha | 5 | 0.0031 |
| #5 | Matyy | 5 | 0.0041 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 撞怀 | 623 | 0.28 | 13 min |
| #2 | le_jules | 502 | 0.16 | 13 min |
| #3 | Matyy | 182 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #4 | George omida lunga | 154 | 0.24 | 4 min |
| #5 | Z8 | 129 | 0.34 | 3 min |





