








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 30 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 92 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2072 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,747 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1135 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1090 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1299 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1223 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,067,817 of utility $122 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TheRealQuanta | 64% | 88 |
| #2 | spookyDerek | 63% | 164 |
| #3 | scottaayy | 58% | 228 |
| #4 | נυѕтι¢є | 51% | 35 |
| #5 | Dr Backshots MD | 47% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | spookyDerek | 63% | 164 |
| #3 | scottaayy | 58% | 228 |
| #4 | נυѕтι¢є | 51% | 35 |
| #5 | Dr Backshots MD | 47% | 53 |
| #6 | Wet bread | 47% | 83 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | scottaayy | 54 | 0.0126 |
| #2 | spookyDerek | 21 | 0.0066 |
| #3 | TheRealQuanta | 10 | 0.0062 |
| #4 | Dr Backshots MD | 7 | 0.0078 |
| #5 | נυѕтι¢є | 6 | 0.0086 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | spookyDerek | 287 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #2 | scottaayy | 241 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| #3 | נυѕтι¢є | 46 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #4 | TheRealQuanta | 38 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| #5 | Wet bread | 7 | 0.00 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | spookyDerek | +7.19 | 79 | 57 |
| #2 | נυѕтι¢є | +4.64 | 92 | 56 |
| #3 | TheRealQuanta | +3.47 | 68 | 42 |
| #4 | scottaayy | +3.44 | 66 | 50 |
| #5 | Dr Backshots MD | -0.12 | 44 | 14 |





