








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 56 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 110 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 11 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




35 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3715 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,183 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2574 | 25% |
| Smokes | 2069 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 2884 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 2656 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $710,592 of utility $99 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 32 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SirHuntsalot | 63% | 164 |
| #2 | TheRealQuanta | 63% | 98 |
| #3 | scottaayy | 57% | 237 |
| #4 | Wet bread | 53% | 68 |
| #5 | Dr Backshots MD | 49% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | TheRealQuanta | 63% | 98 |
| #3 | scottaayy | 57% | 237 |
| #4 | Wet bread | 53% | 68 |
| #5 | Dr Backshots MD | 49% | 53 |
| #6 | נυѕтι¢є | 43% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | scottaayy | 50 | 0.0106 |
| #2 | Dr Backshots MD | 11 | 0.0112 |
| #3 | TheRealQuanta | 7 | 0.0038 |
| #4 | נυѕтι¢є | 5 | 0.0054 |
| #5 | SirHuntsalot | 4 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | scottaayy | 236 | 0.05 | 5 min |
| #2 | SirHuntsalot | 146 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #3 | נυѕтι¢є | 60 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #4 | TheRealQuanta | 50 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #5 | Wet bread | 7 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | spookyDerek | +4.31 | 74 | 57 |
| #2 | נυѕтι¢є | +3.20 | 89 | 61 |
| #3 | TheRealQuanta | +0.72 | 64 | 42 |
| #4 | scottaayy | +0.51 | 63 | 49 |
| #5 | Dr Backshots MD | -1.30 | 45 | 7 |





