








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 60 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
795 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,167 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 464 | 21% |
| Smokes | 496 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 624 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 583 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $147,065 of utility $113 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 9 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Boom Booms Expert | 49% | 49 |
| #2 | maybeBZRK | 47% | 55 |
| #3 | Papa Stalin | 42% | 31 |
| #4 | moorey23 | 39% | 38 |
| #5 | DogeKev | 31% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Boom Booms Expert | 49% | 49 |
| #2 | maybeBZRK | 47% | 55 |
| #3 | Papa Stalin | 42% | 31 |
| #4 | moorey23 | 39% | 38 |
| #5 | DogeKev | 31% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Boom Booms Expert | 5 | 0.0058 |
| #2 | moorey23 | 2 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | maybeBZRK | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | Papa Stalin | 1 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Boom Booms Expert | 135 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #2 | maybeBZRK | 109 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #3 | Papa Stalin | 33 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #4 | DogeKev | 21 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | moorey23 | 14 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Boom Booms Expert | +2.20 | 88 | 57 |
| #2 | DT | +0.60 | 86 | 55 |
| #3 | maybeBZRK | -1.27 | 69 | 55 |
| #4 | Papa Stalin | -2.09 | 52 | 49 |
| #5 | moorey23 | -2.62 | 54 | 36 |





