








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 85 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 110 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




32 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1543 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,386 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3089 | 42% |
| Smokes | 1937 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 887 | 12% |
| Molotovs | 1473 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $289,775 of utility $68 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 67 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 9/11 Was T-Sided | 50% | 133 |
| #2 | Kowalski | 43% | 21 |
| #3 | Rico | 40% | 20 |
| #4 | Koppen | 38% | 13 |
| #5 | mirrelito | 36% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Rico | 40% | 20 |
| #4 | Koppen | 38% | 13 |
| #5 | mirrelito | 36% | 28 |
| #6 | Yitzhak | 33% | 43 |
| #7 | bring back cache | 24% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 9/11 Was T-Sided | 7 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | Koppen | 4 | 0.0167 |
| #3 | Kowalski | 3 | 0.0077 |
| #4 | Rico | 3 | 0.0078 |
| #5 | bring back cache | 3 | 0.0087 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 9/11 Was T-Sided | 452 | 0.18 | 9 min |
| #2 | Yitzhak | 156 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #3 | bring back cache | 59 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #4 | mirrelito | 52 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | Koppen | 48 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mirrelito | +3.26 | 80 | 63 |
| #2 | bring back cache | +2.75 | 68 | 63 |
| #3 | 9/11 Was T-Sided | +2.36 | 66 | 56 |
| #4 | Koppen | +0.78 | 61 | 57 |
| #5 | Tasmanen | +0.33 | 41 | 62 |





