








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 474 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 136 matches | ||
| Esplay | 83 matches | 1,941 | |
| Premier | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2623 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,395 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3857 | 31% |
| Smokes | 2792 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 3087 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2659 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $656,040 of utility $114 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 128 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tibbe | 75% | 16 |
| #2 | ziNksalva | 55% | 173 |
| #3 | tubseN32 | 54% | 189 |
| #4 | FetHasse | 54% | 158 |
| #5 | lehmanski | 47% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ziNksalva | +1.94 | 78 | 80 |
| #2 | tibbe | +1.40 | 75 | 74 |
| #3 | lehmanski | +1.33 | 74 | 50 |
| #4 | tubseN32 | +0.91 | 76 | 74 |
| #5 | -flammonster- | +0.48 | 73 | 70 |





