








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1357 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Esplay | 222 matches | 1,988 | |
| Premier | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 15 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 88 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3017 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,200 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4692 | 38% |
| Smokes | 3729 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 2720 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1059 | 9% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,055,742 of utility $164 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1207 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | lehmanski | 51% | 141 |
| #4 | FetHasse | 50% | 105 |
| #5 | ziNksalva | 48% | 69 |
| #6 | tubseN32 | 47% | 106 |
| #7 | -flammonster- | 44% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ziNksalva | 405 | 0.27 | 10 min |
| #2 | tubseN32 | 242 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #3 | -flammonster- | 178 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #4 | FetHasse | 153 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #5 | lehmanski | 140 | 0.04 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lehmanski | +1.31 | 71 | 62 |
| #2 | ziNksalva | +0.82 | 73 | 75 |
| #3 | tubseN32 | +0.71 | 78 | 74 |
| #4 | Lotz | +0.42 | 65 | 66 |
| #5 | Kloxmeister *ASUS | +0.06 | 56 | 68 |





