








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 290 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 39 matches | ||
| Wingman | 30 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
398 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,974 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 712 | 36% |
| Smokes | 548 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 312 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 402 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $205,570 of utility $129 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 212 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [Ego] Huppa | 80% | 10 |
| #2 | [vG] OLLZI | 69% | 16 |
| #3 | [vG] Hyykeli | 61% | 36 |
| #4 | INeverCrouch | 46% | 26 |
| #5 | mcAkke | 40% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | [vG] OLLZI | 69% | 16 |
| #3 | [vG] Hyykeli | 61% | 36 |
| #4 | INeverCrouch | 46% | 26 |
| #5 | mcAkke | 40% | 5 |
| #6 | GIGA NIG | 38% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | INeverCrouch | 4 | 0.0080 |
| #2 | GIGA NIG | 3 | 0.0106 |
| #3 | mcAkke | 1 | 0.0104 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | INeverCrouch | 84 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #2 | [vG] Hyykeli | 33 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #3 | [vG] OLLZI | 32 | 0.11 | 0 min |
| #4 | [Ego] Huppa | 25 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #5 | GIGA NIG | 21 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [Ego] Huppa | +7.29 | 76 | 55 |
| #2 | mcAkke | +4.88 | 56 | 50 |
| #3 | INeverCrouch | +4.15 | 68 | 62 |
| #4 | [vG] Hyykeli | +0.70 | 32 | 34 |
| #5 | [vG] OLLZI | +0.34 | 25 | 42 |





