








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 253 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 170 matches | ||
| Wingman | 39 matches | ||
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1700 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,590 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1150 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1224 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1226 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 990 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $932,150 of utility $180 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 7 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [vG] Hyykeli | 68% | 28 |
| #2 | Woodstock | 63% | 35 |
| #3 | [Ego] Huppa | 57% | 150 |
| #4 | INeverCrouch | 49% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [vG] Hyykeli | 68% | 28 |
| #2 | Woodstock | 63% | 35 |
| #3 | [Ego] Huppa | 57% | 150 |
| #4 | INeverCrouch | 49% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [Ego] Huppa | 3 | 0.0010 |
| #2 | INeverCrouch | 3 | 0.0040 |
| #3 | Woodstock | 1 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | [vG] Hyykeli | 1 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [Ego] Huppa | 363 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| #2 | INeverCrouch | 131 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #3 | Woodstock | 25 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #4 | [vG] Hyykeli | 12 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [Ego] Huppa | +3.04 | 54 | 52 |
| #2 | INeverCrouch | +2.58 | 65 | 58 |
| #3 | GIGA NIG | -0.51 | 32 | 44 |
| #4 | Woodstock | -1.52 | 29 | 38 |
| #5 | [vG] Hyykeli | -1.72 | 33 | 21 |





