








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 434 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 367 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 38 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




32 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3964 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,758 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4437 | 35% |
| Smokes | 2977 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 3572 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1772 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $946,170 of utility $109 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1893 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | adam♿ | 59% | 44 |
| #2 | Jakob | 51% | 37 |
| #3 | uggle kuken | 47% | 68 |
| #4 | Zunken | 47% | 163 |
| #5 | Maren | 38% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | adam♿ | 59% | 44 |
| #2 | Jakob | 51% | 37 |
| #3 | uggle kuken | 47% | 68 |
| #4 | Zunken | 47% | 163 |
| #5 | Maren | 38% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | uggle kuken | 12 | 0.0086 |
| #2 | Zunken | 8 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | adam♿ | 6 | 0.0072 |
| #4 | Jakob | 6 | 0.0077 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zunken | 577 | 0.16 | 16 min |
| #2 | Jakob | 238 | 0.31 | 5 min |
| #3 | uggle kuken | 114 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #4 | adam♿ | 96 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #5 | Maren | 8 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | uggle kuken | +0.93 | 80 | 57 |
| #2 | Smirre <3 | +0.78 | 80 | 54 |
| #3 | Maren | -0.31 | 48 | 43 |
| #4 | Jakob | -0.73 | 48 | 65 |
| #5 | adam♿ | -0.77 | 46 | 51 |





