








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 241 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 57 matches | ||
| Premier | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
974 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,082 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 857 | 28% |
| Smokes | 689 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 697 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 839 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $254,530 of utility $132 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 112 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NotNof1 | 100% | 10 |
| #2 | wister | 64% | 14 |
| #3 | 9mm go bang | 63% | 19 |
| #4 | kyprian knypenko | 60% | 5 |
| #5 | Mefedronowy Zabijaka | 60% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Mefedronowy Zabijaka | 60% | 5 |
| #6 | Grooby | 57% | 7 |
| #7 | C1ast3k-_- | 53% | 15 |
| #8 | DamrekSKY | 50% | 6 |
| #9 | Drue | 40% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 9mm go bang | 60 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #2 | wister | 56 | 0.22 | 1 min |
| #3 | C1ast3k-_- | 54 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #4 | NotNof1 | 51 | 0.24 | 1 min |
| #5 | Grooby | 48 | 0.32 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kyprian knypenko | +5.40 | 69 | 57 |
| #2 | Mefedronowy Zabijaka | +3.50 | 88 | 67 |
| #3 | NotNof1 | +3.31 | 75 | 63 |
| #4 | DamrekSKY | +3.14 | 90 | 59 |
| #5 | Grooby | +1.91 | 82 | 59 |





