








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 88 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
733 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,118 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 465 | 22% |
| Smokes | 585 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 540 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 528 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $78,746 of utility $27 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 5 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bazin | 56% | 41 |
| #2 | Medusa | 52% | 90 |
| #3 | -{[JUM]}-CharlYCheesY | 50% | 34 |
| #4 | JoWulu | 49% | 89 |
| #5 | ✪४Devil☯ | 48% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -{[JUM]}-CharlYCheesY | 8 | 0.0125 |
| #2 | JoWulu | 6 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | ✪४Devil☯ | 4 | 0.0045 |
| #4 | Medusa | 3 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | Bazin | 2 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EzDav1d | +3.05 | 69 | 23 |
| #2 | Bazin | +2.18 | 50 | 58 |
| #3 | JoWulu | +1.31 | 26 | 56 |
| #4 | ✪४Devil☯ | +0.27 | 27 | 33 |
| #5 | -{[JUM]}-CharlYCheesY | -0.24 | 25 | 44 |





