








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 629 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 335 matches | ||
| Wingman | 49 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4230 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,019 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2516 | 25% |
| Smokes | 2758 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1912 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 2833 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,136,023 of utility $223 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 8 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Orangodew | 50% | 282 |
| #2 | Kling.- | 48% | 98 |
| #3 | Patrick | 47% | 36 |
| #4 | ♣♣♣♣THAL♣♣♣♣ | 47% | 51 |
| #5 | . | 47% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Patrick | 47% | 36 |
| #4 | ♣♣♣♣THAL♣♣♣♣ | 47% | 51 |
| #5 | . | 47% | 32 |
| #6 | BOYE | 47% | 64 |
| #7 | Nidicolous ヅ | 33% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Orangodew | 16 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | Patrick | 6 | 0.0078 |
| #3 | ♣♣♣♣THAL♣♣♣♣ | 5 | 0.0046 |
| #4 | Nidicolous ヅ | 3 | 0.0039 |
| #5 | BOYE | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Orangodew | 399 | 0.07 | 11 min |
| #2 | Kling.- | 276 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| #3 | Patrick | 181 | 0.24 | 3 min |
| #4 | . | 167 | 0.24 | 5 min |
| #5 | Nidicolous ヅ | 95 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | . | +2.14 | 79 | 69 |
| #2 | BOYE | +1.23 | 88 | 68 |
| #3 | Kling.- | +1.17 | 73 | 73 |
| #4 | Orangodew | +1.07 | 75 | 57 |
| #5 | Nidicolous ヅ | -0.04 | 63 | 65 |





