








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 193 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 62 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1634 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,669 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 861 | 23% |
| Smokes | 804 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1017 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 987 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $420,918 of utility $154 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 52 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ︻デ 一Svanefar | 61% | 18 |
| #2 | Amiurs | 60% | 10 |
| #3 | Zejeo | 56% | 9 |
| #4 | Orangodew | 55% | 53 |
| #5 | ♣♣♣♣THAL♣♣♣♣ | 53% | 73 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Yabba The Ponytale | 47% | 64 |
| #7 | Kling.- | 46% | 13 |
| #8 | Nidicolous ヅ | 44% | 75 |
| #9 | .VipZ | 40% | 10 |
| #10 | . | 33% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nidicolous ヅ | 7 | 0.0044 |
| #2 | ♣♣♣♣THAL♣♣♣♣ | 4 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | Yabba The Ponytale | 3 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | Orangodew | 3 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | .VipZ | 3 | 0.0145 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nidicolous ヅ | 238 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #2 | Yabba The Ponytale | 81 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #3 | ♣♣♣♣THAL♣♣♣♣ | 65 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #4 | Kling.- | 57 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #5 | Orangodew | 53 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ︻デ 一Svanefar | +2.23 | 74 | 59 |
| #2 | Zejeo | +1.96 | 75 | 45 |
| #3 | BOYE | +1.94 | 88 | 67 |
| #4 | Kling.- | +1.00 | 71 | 73 |
| #5 | Nidicolous ヅ | +0.55 | 64 | 69 |





