








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 150 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 32 matches | ||
| Wingman | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1755 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,973 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1590 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1937 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1522 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1924 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $712,959 of utility $126 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RancidRigatoni | 50% | 181 |
| #2 | DevoTheBigDong | 48% | 117 |
| #3 | EFRAN | 43% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RancidRigatoni | 50% | 181 |
| #2 | DevoTheBigDong | 48% | 117 |
| #3 | EFRAN | 43% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RancidRigatoni | 4 | 0.0011 |
| #2 | EFRAN | 3 | 0.0042 |
| #3 | DevoTheBigDong | 2 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RancidRigatoni | 111 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| #2 | DevoTheBigDong | 74 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| #3 | EFRAN | 12 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RancidRigatoni | +0.87 | 62 | 38 |
| #2 | DevoTheBigDong | -0.79 | 50 | 34 |
| #3 | HolyBoofsader | -1.50 | 33 | 55 |
| #4 | EFRAN | -1.99 | 41 | 35 |





