








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 477 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 419 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 118 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3766 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,777 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3205 | 25% |
| Smokes | 4094 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 3416 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2062 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,733,665 of utility $171 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 309 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dristian Chodaj | 57% | 69 |
| #2 | Ban Nuke | 53% | 133 |
| #3 | SSJDonkey | 50% | 222 |
| #4 | Christian | 49% | 59 |
| #5 | BurekMeMish | 44% | 168 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dristian Chodaj | 57% | 69 |
| #2 | Ban Nuke | 53% | 133 |
| #3 | SSJDonkey | 50% | 222 |
| #4 | Christian | 49% | 59 |
| #5 | BurekMeMish | 44% | 168 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ban Nuke | 8 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | SSJDonkey | 6 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | Dristian Chodaj | 4 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | BurekMeMish | 3 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | Christian | 3 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SSJDonkey | 636 | 0.14 | 13 min |
| #2 | BurekMeMish | 263 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| #3 | Ban Nuke | 251 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #4 | Dristian Chodaj | 138 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | Christian | 102 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ban Nuke | +2.24 | 79 | 50 |
| #2 | Gjergj Kastrioti Skenderbeu | +0.96 | 69 | 57 |
| #3 | Dristian Chodaj | +0.32 | 66 | 49 |
| #4 | BurekMeMish | -0.35 | 60 | 47 |
| #5 | SSJDonkey | -0.50 | 67 | 62 |





