








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 130 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 481 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




57 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3675 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,446 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2197 | 34% |
| Smokes | 2319 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 1187 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 743 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,805,257 of utility $162 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | T Priv | 69% | 29 |
| #2 | NoPromise | 56% | 34 |
| #3 | chief | 46% | 63 |
| #4 | LIMEDY | 41% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | T Priv | 69% | 29 |
| #2 | NoPromise | 56% | 34 |
| #3 | chief | 46% | 63 |
| #4 | LIMEDY | 41% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LIMEDY | 7 | 0.0086 |
| #2 | NoPromise | 5 | 0.0070 |
| #3 | chief | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chief | 157 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #2 | LIMEDY | 138 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #3 | NoPromise | 79 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #4 | T Priv | 6 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NoPromise | +5.04 | 75 | 40 |
| #2 | T Priv | +3.50 | 52 | 24 |
| #3 | LIMEDY | +0.37 | 66 | 40 |
| #4 | jake | +0.30 | 55 | 29 |
| #5 | chief | -1.26 | 47 | 58 |





