








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 265 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 274 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 32 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2596 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,287 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4723 | 27% |
| Smokes | 4252 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 4739 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 3573 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $419,734 of utility $52 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 46 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Bou | 45% | 22 |
| #10 | Mr J | 44% | 55 |
| #11 | Moody | 43% | 105 |
| #12 | Nette | 29% | 24 |
| #13 | nikuc1s | 21% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𐂃𐂃𐂃𐂃𐂃𐂃𐂃𐂃 | 14 | 0.0045 |
| #2 | Moody | 11 | 0.0050 |
| #3 | Your WET Dream | 11 | 0.0061 |
| #4 | nikuc1s | 7 | 0.0107 |
| #5 | Bou | 6 | 0.0124 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Moody | 412 | 0.19 | 9 min |
| #2 | 𐂃𐂃𐂃𐂃𐂃𐂃𐂃𐂃 | 193 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #3 | Your WET Dream | 192 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #4 | Stewie Griffin | 143 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #5 | BigDaddy | 98 | 0.10 | 3 min |





