








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1191 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 413 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4516 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,557 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3693 | 32% |
| Smokes | 1962 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 2977 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2925 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,991,988 of utility $191 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 271 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | -= SaddamHussein =- | 44% | 27 |
| #9 | pere1rinha | 44% | 206 |
| #10 | DICK VIGARISTA | 43% | 28 |
| #11 | Bahiano | 42% | 62 |
| #12 | XGL | 41% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | XANDAO DITADOR | 830 | 0.21 | 19 min |
| #2 | pere1rinha | 434 | 0.10 | 10 min |
| #3 | BU7M| Tio Paulo | 271 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #4 | Bahiano | 210 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #5 | King7- | 163 | 0.19 | 4 min |





