








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1300 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 788 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 31 matches | ||
| Wingman | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 37 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




41 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9091 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,649 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4948 | 22% |
| Smokes | 7939 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 3945 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 5817 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,426,229 of utility $126 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 334 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pere1rinha | 23 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | King7- | 19 | 0.0073 |
| #3 | XANDAO DITADOR | 13 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | Bahiano | 13 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | -= SaddamHussein =- | 10 | 0.0043 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | XANDAO DITADOR | 1623 | 0.22 | 39 min |
| #2 | pere1rinha | 1156 | 0.11 | 28 min |
| #3 | Bahiano | 1041 | 0.19 | 24 min |
| #4 | BU7M| Tio Paulo | 800 | 0.22 | 22 min |
| #5 | King7- | 559 | 0.21 | 14 min |





