








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 392 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 106 matches | ||
| Wingman | 72 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 66 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1622 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,781 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1380 | 24% |
| Smokes | 602 | 10% |
| HE Grenades | 2393 | 41% |
| Molotovs | 1406 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,209,667 of utility $231 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 196 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Helena | 64% | 28 |
| #2 | smegmajuustomeetwurstivoileipä | 52% | 66 |
| #3 | oletteko omistaja | 47% | 154 |
| #4 | Namigaattori | 33% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Helena | 64% | 28 |
| #2 | smegmajuustomeetwurstivoileipä | 52% | 66 |
| #3 | oletteko omistaja | 47% | 154 |
| #4 | Namigaattori | 33% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | smegmajuustomeetwurstivoileipä | 2 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | Helena | 2 | 0.0043 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | smegmajuustomeetwurstivoileipä | 108 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #2 | oletteko omistaja | 83 | 0.03 | 3 min |
| #3 | Namigaattori | 78 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| #4 | Helena | 67 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Helena | +7.82 | 90 | 46 |
| #2 | smegmajuustomeetwurstivoileipä | -0.43 | 43 | 60 |
| #3 | Tattoo | -0.66 | 34 | 47 |
| #4 | oletteko omistaja | -1.52 | 30 | 45 |
| #5 | Namigaattori | -3.10 | 19 | 64 |





