










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 383 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 76 matches | ||
| Wingman | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 46 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
957 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,270 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 550 | 17% |
| Smokes | 425 | 13% |
| HE Grenades | 1452 | 44% |
| Molotovs | 843 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $745,524 of utility $208 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 120 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | smegmajuustomeetwurstivoileipä | 52% | 44 |
| #2 | kariaalto | 48% | 21 |
| #3 | Tattoo | 47% | 154 |
| #4 | Namigaattori | 27% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | smegmajuustomeetwurstivoileipä | 52% | 44 |
| #2 | kariaalto | 48% | 21 |
| #3 | Tattoo | 47% | 154 |
| #4 | Namigaattori | 27% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | smegmajuustomeetwurstivoileipä | 2 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | kariaalto | 2 | 0.0054 |
| #3 | Tattoo | 1 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tattoo | 242 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #2 | Namigaattori | 98 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #3 | smegmajuustomeetwurstivoileipä | 75 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #4 | kariaalto | 41 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tattoo | +1.06 | 38 | 51 |
| #2 | kariaalto | +0.62 | 50 | 53 |
| #3 | smegmajuustomeetwurstivoileipä | +0.14 | 42 | 63 |
| #4 | oletteko omistaja | -1.50 | 29 | 45 |
| #5 | Namigaattori | -3.69 | 23 | 62 |





