








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 135 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 273 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2652 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,883 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1494 | 22% |
| Smokes | 1934 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1647 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1808 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $272,775 of utility $36 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 135 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | UniKornPrincess | 55% | 29 |
| #2 | Mr. Stoosh | 53% | 19 |
| #3 | :) | 48% | 262 |
| #4 | Griffi | 48% | 79 |
| #5 | Minxii | 40% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | :) | 20 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | Griffi | 9 | 0.0054 |
| #3 | Grizzly_Poodel | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | Minxii | 2 | 0.0032 |
| #5 | Mr. Stoosh | 2 | 0.0048 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | :) | 219 | 0.04 | 6 min |
| #2 | Griffi | 196 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #3 | Grizzly_Poodel | 86 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #4 | Mr. Stoosh | 21 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | Minxii | 18 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | :) | +4.51 | 55 | 55 |
| #2 | Mr. Stoosh | +2.57 | 59 | 52 |
| #3 | Griffi | +1.19 | 38 | 70 |
| #4 | hiddenandkills | -1.47 | 25 | 35 |
| #5 | Minxii | -2.27 | 18 | 42 |





