








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 212 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 121 matches | ||
| Wingman | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2422 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,282 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2736 | 33% |
| Smokes | 2497 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1611 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 1438 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $336,105 of utility $81 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 241 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | naku | 62% | 13 |
| #4 | jabberdabber<3 | 58% | 19 |
| #5 | Minsq | 57% | 67 |
| #6 | ootee | 54% | 26 |
| #7 | ⎛⎝( ` ᢍ ´ )⎠⎞ᵐᵘʰ | 43% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Minsq | 6 | 0.0048 |
| #2 | Ew0lf | 4 | 0.0070 |
| #3 | ⎛⎝( ` ᢍ ´ )⎠⎞ᵐᵘʰ | 3 | 0.0067 |
| #4 | naku | 1 | 0.0036 |
| #5 | jabberdabber<3 | 1 | 0.0040 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Minsq | 162 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #2 | ⎛⎝( ` ᢍ ´ )⎠⎞ᵐᵘʰ | 62 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #3 | ootee | 59 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #4 | Ew0lf | 42 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | naku | 42 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ooyi | +4.34 | 70 | 71 |
| #2 | Ew0lf | +1.25 | 71 | 55 |
| #3 | naku | -0.06 | 76 | 54 |
| #4 | ⎛⎝( ` ᢍ ´ )⎠⎞ᵐᵘʰ | -0.20 | 60 | 58 |
| #5 | ootee | -1.70 | 59 | 51 |





