








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 189 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 264 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2987 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,347 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6657 | 41% |
| Smokes | 4290 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1525 | 9% |
| Molotovs | 3875 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $575,403 of utility $83 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 126 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | venom | 47% | 174 |
| #8 | DuhBois✪ | 47% | 17 |
| #9 | 天使 | 45% | 69 |
| #10 | Skinny Pete | 38% | 21 |
| #11 | Gustavo Fring | 34% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | StinkMeister | 11 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | Skinny Pete | 5 | 0.0114 |
| #3 | Gustavo Fring | 4 | 0.0064 |
| #4 | venom | 2 | 0.0005 |
| #5 | ken | 2 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | StinkMeister | 863 | 0.17 | 22 min |
| #2 | venom | 603 | 0.16 | 12 min |
| #3 | Shanchi | 410 | 0.15 | 9 min |
| #4 | ken | 194 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #5 | 天使 | 194 | 0.14 | 4 min |





