








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 544 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 275 matches | ||
| Premier | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4450 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,900 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4795 | 28% |
| Smokes | 5590 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 2299 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 4216 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $849,639 of utility $98 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 310 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | SC☯PE | 49% | 241 |
| #9 | venom | 48% | 163 |
| #10 | 天使 | 46% | 65 |
| #11 | Skinny Pete | 43% | 23 |
| #12 | Gustavo Fring | 41% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SC☯PE | 16 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | Skinny Pete | 6 | 0.0126 |
| #3 | Gustavo Fring | 5 | 0.0075 |
| #4 | venom | 2 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | ken | 2 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SC☯PE | 1864 | 0.36 | 48 min |
| #2 | venom | 565 | 0.16 | 12 min |
| #3 | Shanchi | 416 | 0.15 | 9 min |
| #4 | Matt-V- | 261 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #5 | 天使 | 218 | 0.16 | 5 min |





