








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 714 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 104 matches | ||
| Faceit | 70 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 35 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




42 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2277 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,542 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2611 | 40% |
| Smokes | 1522 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1100 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 1309 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,416,271 of utility $249 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1037 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hoe_Griller | 89% | 18 |
| #2 | Fluffez Mushez | 62% | 39 |
| #3 | Worthless Mushez | 52% | 23 |
| #4 | Flexibexi | 51% | 67 |
| #5 | suomi 🧊 | 45% | 82 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | suomi 🧊 | 26 | 0.0158 |
| #2 | Flexibexi | 20 | 0.0153 |
| #3 | Fluffez Mushez | 8 | 0.0106 |
| #4 | Worthless Mushez | 8 | 0.0176 |
| #5 | Hoe_Griller | 4 | 0.0123 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | suomi 🧊 | 446 | 0.27 | 8 min |
| #2 | Ryan Gosling | 108 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #3 | Flexibexi | 106 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #4 | Fluffez Mushez | 105 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #5 | Worthless Mushez | 24 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hoe_Griller | +3.48 | 87 | 24 |
| #2 | Fluffez Mushez | +1.55 | 68 | 55 |
| #3 | Flexibexi | +1.05 | 70 | 38 |
| #4 | reezylb | +1.01 | 71 | 59 |
| #5 | suomi 🧊 | -0.27 | 71 | 45 |





