










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 559 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
915 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,446 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 453 | 19% |
| Smokes | 543 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 682 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 768 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $478,570 of utility $218 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 592 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Qetigee | 71% | 21 |
| #2 | Hoe_Griller | 64% | 22 |
| #3 | reezylb | 51% | 67 |
| #4 | BOT ceeazy | 50% | 8 |
| #5 | suomi 🧊 | 44% | 96 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | suomi 🧊 | 31 | 0.0164 |
| #2 | reezylb | 18 | 0.0137 |
| #3 | Hoe_Griller | 4 | 0.0100 |
| #4 | Qetigee | 3 | 0.0072 |
| #5 | Ryan Gosling | 2 | 0.0038 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | suomi 🧊 | 503 | 0.27 | 9 min |
| #2 | reezylb | 158 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #3 | Ryan Gosling | 103 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #4 | Qetigee | 85 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| #5 | HE4THEN | 63 | 0.22 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Qetigee | +3.55 | 87 | 61 |
| #2 | Hoe_Griller | +3.21 | 87 | 29 |
| #3 | reezylb | +1.33 | 63 | 54 |
| #4 | HE4THEN | +1.02 | 68 | 56 |
| #5 | Flexibexi | +0.43 | 69 | 41 |





