








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 125 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 82 matches | ||
| Wingman | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1308 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,351 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 349 | 15% |
| Smokes | 541 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 837 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 624 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $433,331 of utility $165 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 280 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | batomeu | 100% | 7 |
| #2 | Voltyx | 87% | 23 |
| #3 | Mogarisho | 50% | 8 |
| #4 | MatyM | 45% | 22 |
| #5 | Warmix | 38% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | 𝙎𝙃𝙄𝙆𝘼𝙈𝙄 | 29% | 7 |
| #8 | lukas1n0 | 28% | 18 |
| #9 | Funit | 27% | 15 |
| #10 | Sexyk | 22% | 9 |
| #11 | LARZENN ❤A❤ | 22% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LARZENN ❤A❤ | 63 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #2 | Voltyx | 56 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #3 | MatyM | 56 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #4 | Mogarisho | 41 | 0.23 | 1 min |
| #5 | Funit | 30 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Voltyx | +5.78 | 74 | 59 |
| #2 | 𝙎𝙃𝙄𝙆𝘼𝙈𝙄 | +1.95 | 84 | 61 |
| #3 | batomeu | +1.81 | 79 | 62 |
| #4 | prc):) | +0.89 | 68 | 45 |
| #5 | Funit | +0.86 | 88 | 53 |





