








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 16 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1712 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,371 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1440 | 33% |
| Smokes | 670 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 1260 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1001 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $342,250 of utility $86 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | ZII | 57% | 28 |
| #5 | coRmaK | 56% | 79 |
| #6 | Cfpate99 | 55% | 87 |
| #7 | Weston_W | 54% | 169 |
| #8 | Canoe (The Mag-7 Rust Coat Guy) | 36% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | coRmaK | 9 | 0.0056 |
| #2 | Weston_W | 7 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | Cfpate99 | 5 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | Canoe (The Mag-7 Rust Coat Guy) | 4 | 0.0173 |
| #5 | Foxx | 2 | 0.0052 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | coRmaK | 207 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #2 | Weston_W | 181 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #3 | Cfpate99 | 110 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #4 | Canoe (The Mag-7 Rust Coat Guy) | 56 | 0.24 | 1 min |
| #5 | Foxx | 36 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Foxx | +3.77 | 64 | 36 |
| #2 | coRmaK | +2.50 | 77 | 47 |
| #3 | ZII | +2.45 | 67 | 49 |
| #4 | Phiz | +1.58 | 71 | 41 |
| #5 | Weston_W | +1.12 | 61 | 35 |





