








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1038 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 141 matches | ||
| Faceit | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 42 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2002 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,288 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1863 | 30% |
| Smokes | 1387 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1898 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1140 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $862,112 of utility $223 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 528 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jacquaviz | 68% | 19 |
| #2 | ★ GongaNotOfficial | 67% | 12 |
| #3 | FatDigglyDog | 58% | 12 |
| #4 | Mr Gurns | 55% | 86 |
| #5 | fWEAKAZOID | 43% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | ★ GongaNotOfficial | 67% | 12 |
| #3 | FatDigglyDog | 58% | 12 |
| #4 | Mr Gurns | 55% | 86 |
| #5 | fWEAKAZOID | 43% | 28 |
| #6 | kenny | 33% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr Gurns | 9 | 0.0049 |
| #2 | fWEAKAZOID | 2 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | kenny | 1 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr Gurns | 207 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #2 | fWEAKAZOID | 73 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #3 | Jacquaviz | 72 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #4 | kenny | 47 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #5 | ★ GongaNotOfficial | 17 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jacquaviz | +2.35 | 67 | 64 |
| #2 | fWEAKAZOID | +2.09 | 76 | 60 |
| #3 | area o/ | +1.38 | 57 | 64 |
| #4 | Mr Gurns | +0.76 | 71 | 54 |
| #5 | ★ GongaNotOfficial | +0.55 | 73 | 57 |





