








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 196 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 158 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1959 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,774 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2120 | 27% |
| Smokes | 2004 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1931 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1719 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $526,719 of utility $122 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 252 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ooonkel | 75% | 12 |
| #2 | ApexGamer | 74% | 19 |
| #3 | T!wysta` | 68% | 34 |
| #4 | DaHuanSoon | 64% | 80 |
| #5 | RealMagne | 58% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | coRE | 54% | 78 |
| #9 | GrødRiis | 46% | 48 |
| #10 | Micro | 44% | 55 |
| #11 | Sayounara | 41% | 51 |
| #12 | Nock | 39% | 18 |





