








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 169 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




34 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1636 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,308 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1510 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1232 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 1675 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1891 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $443,645 of utility $95 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tommi | 60% | 15 |
| #2 | Norphe | 58% | 31 |
| #3 | Jasu | 56% | 50 |
| #4 | hAlOooqQ | 50% | 12 |
| #5 | ⁶⁰ʰᶻ𝖆𝖎𝖒 | 50% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | ⁶⁰ʰᶻ𝖆𝖎𝖒 | 50% | 20 |
| #6 | 誰でもない | 50% | 101 |
| #7 | @ MEH | 46% | 26 |
| #8 | 𝚅𝙸𝙿 J2k | 38% | 16 |
| #9 | Tuhkis | 33% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jasu | 10 | 0.0094 |
| #2 | 誰でもない | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #3 | Norphe | 1 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | @ MEH | 1 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | ⁶⁰ʰᶻ𝖆𝖎𝖒 | 1 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 誰でもない | 280 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #2 | Jasu | 92 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #3 | 𝚅𝙸𝙿 J2k | 89 | 0.26 | 2 min |
| #4 | @ MEH | 65 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #5 | tommi | 45 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | @ MEH | +4.19 | 78 | 67 |
| #2 | tommi | +2.63 | 79 | 67 |
| #3 | hAlOooqQ | +2.49 | 69 | 70 |
| #4 | 誰でもない | +2.28 | 79 | 69 |
| #5 | ⁶⁰ʰᶻ𝖆𝖎𝖒 | +1.69 | 73 | 58 |





