








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 209 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 19 matches | ||
| Premier | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
641 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,788 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 667 | 37% |
| Smokes | 425 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 262 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 434 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $169,992 of utility $128 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 23 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hæælas guttpå | 33% | 24 |
| #2 | Zek1 | 29% | 31 |
| #3 | Kneegear | 20% | 20 |
| #4 | SER1OUS | 12% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hæælas guttpå | 33% | 24 |
| #2 | Zek1 | 29% | 31 |
| #3 | Kneegear | 20% | 20 |
| #4 | SER1OUS | 12% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zek1 | 5 | 0.0077 |
| #2 | Hæælas guttpå | 5 | 0.0105 |
| #3 | Kneegear | 5 | 0.0129 |
| #4 | SER1OUS | 5 | 0.0140 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zek1 | 179 | 0.28 | 3 min |
| #2 | Kneegear | 56 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #3 | SER1OUS | 28 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #4 | Hæælas guttpå | 19 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SER1OUS | +2.01 | 81 | 28 |
| #2 | Hæælas guttpå | +0.96 | 85 | 36 |
| #3 | Zek1 | +0.83 | 62 | 50 |
| #4 | Lazy ツ | -1.01 | 62 | 56 |
| #5 | Kneegear | -2.28 | 37 | 56 |





