








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 217 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 50 matches | ||
| Faceit | 32 matches | ||
| Premier | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1137 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,420 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 704 | 21% |
| Smokes | 931 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 889 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 896 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $506,387 of utility $214 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 65 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nestori | 64% | 11 |
| #2 | SMITS | 57% | 7 |
| #3 | joshe21 | 40% | 10 |
| #4 | johtotähti | 40% | 75 |
| #5 | Bot Vaittify | 33% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | SMITS | 57% | 7 |
| #3 | joshe21 | 40% | 10 |
| #4 | johtotähti | 40% | 75 |
| #5 | Bot Vaittify | 33% | 15 |
| #6 | PetEZ | 22% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | johtotähti | 2 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | PetEZ | 1 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | Bot Vaittify | 1 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | joshe21 | 1 | 0.0043 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bot Vaittify | 77 | 0.23 | 3 min |
| #2 | johtotähti | 72 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #3 | nestori | 67 | 0.27 | 1 min |
| #4 | PetEZ | 33 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| #5 | joshe21 | 22 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bot Vaittify | +0.77 | 61 | 75 |
| #2 | SMITS | +0.44 | 39 | 39 |
| #3 | johtotähti | -0.08 | 68 | 38 |
| #4 | joshe21 | -0.36 | 24 | 52 |
| #5 | v4lle | -0.40 | 57 | 54 |





