








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 543 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
955 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,230 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 628 | 28% |
| Smokes | 360 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 604 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 638 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $447,877 of utility $202 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 115 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | XGames | 100% | 6 |
| #2 | TOXIC | 73% | 11 |
| #3 | Paradoxx-_- | 70% | 20 |
| #4 | Sjowwer | 67% | 18 |
| #5 | Szokas | 57% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Paradoxx-_- | 70% | 20 |
| #4 | Sjowwer | 67% | 18 |
| #5 | Szokas | 57% | 23 |
| #6 | Treken | 42% | 19 |
| #7 | Kupa777x | 35% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Treken | 8 | 0.0231 |
| #2 | Szokas | 5 | 0.0114 |
| #3 | Sjowwer | 4 | 0.0112 |
| #4 | Kupa777x | 3 | 0.0082 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Treken | 107 | 0.31 | 2 min |
| #2 | Sjowwer | 83 | 0.23 | 2 min |
| #3 | Szokas | 64 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #4 | Paradoxx-_- | 48 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #5 | TOXIC | 37 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sjowwer | +4.55 | 87 | 35 |
| #2 | Szokas | +2.73 | 73 | 56 |
| #3 | Treken | +2.52 | 70 | 42 |
| #4 | :) | +1.13 | 56 | 50 |
| #5 | TOXIC | -0.02 | 61 | 48 |





