








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 127 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 223 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2076 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,223 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1753 | 21% |
| Smokes | 2804 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 1863 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1803 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $719,944 of utility $129 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 288 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LawL | 79% | 14 |
| #2 | ruckz | 48% | 81 |
| #3 | Red Trust Enjoyer | 44% | 27 |
| #4 | mikeyfucks | 44% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LawL | 79% | 14 |
| #2 | ruckz | 48% | 81 |
| #3 | Red Trust Enjoyer | 44% | 27 |
| #4 | mikeyfucks | 44% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ruckz | 18 | 0.0109 |
| #2 | mikeyfucks | 5 | 0.0149 |
| #3 | Red Trust Enjoyer | 2 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ruckz | 104 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #2 | Red Trust Enjoyer | 59 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #3 | mikeyfucks | 47 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #4 | LawL | 5 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LawL | +4.85 | 67 | 66 |
| #2 | Red Trust Enjoyer | +3.01 | 77 | 60 |
| #3 | ruckz | -0.05 | 59 | 64 |
| #4 | PHINSTER | -0.58 | 65 | 60 |
| #5 | mikeyfucks | -1.95 | 59 | 45 |





