










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 125 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 99 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1516 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,280 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 846 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1026 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 760 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 648 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $420,729 of utility $136 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 174 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Big Nuggets | 85% | 20 |
| #2 | Twchrespect | 70% | 10 |
| #3 | MasterOfMangoes | 63% | 24 |
| #4 | ThisAcidIsFakkkkk | 60% | 10 |
| #5 | ruckz | 59% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | ThisAcidIsFakkkkk | 60% | 10 |
| #5 | ruckz | 59% | 56 |
| #6 | mikeyfucks | 50% | 8 |
| #7 | Prophet<3 | 45% | 22 |
| #8 | PHINSTER | 44% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PHINSTER | 2 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | ruckz | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #3 | MasterOfMangoes | 1 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | Big Nuggets | 1 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | ThisAcidIsFakkkkk | 1 | 0.0047 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Big Nuggets | 96 | 0.22 | 2 min |
| #2 | ruckz | 70 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #3 | MasterOfMangoes | 59 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #4 | PHINSTER | 33 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | ThisAcidIsFakkkkk | 33 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Prophet<3 | +3.79 | 98 | 25 |
| #2 | Red Trust Enjoyer | +3.70 | 81 | 52 |
| #3 | Big Nuggets | +0.90 | 83 | 61 |
| #4 | ThisAcidIsFakkkkk | +0.75 | 61 | 42 |
| #5 | MasterOfMangoes | +0.57 | 78 | 47 |





