








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 152 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 217 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3076 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,301 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3617 | 35% |
| Smokes | 2566 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1929 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 2189 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $672,930 of utility $131 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1017 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LOST IN THE WORLD | 85% | 13 |
| #2 | ezsak | 80% | 15 |
| #3 | LarkoTaco | 79% | 24 |
| #4 | laundry | 69% | 29 |
| #5 | Butt Sniffer | 62% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Butt Sniffer | 4 | 0.0096 |
| #2 | ezsak | 3 | 0.0091 |
| #3 | LarkoTaco | 2 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | csJ | 1 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LarkoTaco | 143 | 0.24 | 3 min |
| #2 | laundry | 118 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #3 | Butt Sniffer | 111 | 0.27 | 2 min |
| #4 | csJ | 105 | 0.29 | 3 min |
| #5 | duncan | 58 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ezsak | +2.75 | 85 | 61 |
| #2 | LOST IN THE WORLD | +2.23 | 91 | 72 |
| #3 | BROJVHS | +1.71 | 75 | 72 |
| #4 | csJ | +1.48 | 79 | 71 |
| #5 | Coppo | +1.41 | 73 | 80 |





