








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1 achievement has been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
522 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,473 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 564 | 38% |
| Smokes | 446 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 175 | 12% |
| Molotovs | 288 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $63,407 of utility $83 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Butt Sniffer | 78% | 9 |
| #2 | Rhyu | 78% | 9 |
| #3 | ⭕⃤ ᠌ EEEEEEHHHHHH | 67% | 3 |
| #4 | Bacca_Bear | 67% | 3 |
| #5 | duncan | 60% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Coppo | 60% | 10 |
| #7 | BROJVHS | 47% | 19 |
| #8 | laundry | 33% | 3 |
| #9 | brookszy | 33% | 3 |
| #10 | bK | 25% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BROJVHS | 6 | 0.0169 |
| #2 | Bacca_Bear | 4 | 0.0784 |
| #3 | Butt Sniffer | 3 | 0.0170 |
| #4 | duncan | 1 | 0.0110 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BROJVHS | 113 | 0.32 | 3 min |
| #2 | Butt Sniffer | 46 | 0.26 | 1 min |
| #3 | Coppo | 34 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #4 | brookszy | 26 | 0.46 | 1 min |
| #5 | Rhyu | 24 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | csJ | +3.16 | 84 | 63 |
| #2 | Rhyu | +2.99 | 87 | 71 |
| #3 | brookszy | +2.61 | 93 | 48 |
| #4 | Coppo | +1.98 | 77 | 82 |
| #5 | laundry | +1.74 | 84 | 42 |





