








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 959 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 231 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 40 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2618 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,561 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1478 | 20% |
| Smokes | 1828 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1919 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2336 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,268,036 of utility $188 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 750 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sundrip ツ | 55% | 20 |
| #2 | KomKommer | 55% | 40 |
| #3 | ƎƐ0ᄅn%Ǝ6ᄅ0n%lᄅƆ⇂ᄅn | 50% | 190 |
| #4 | orazon | 46% | 94 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sundrip ツ | 55% | 20 |
| #2 | KomKommer | 55% | 40 |
| #3 | ƎƐ0ᄅn%Ǝ6ᄅ0n%lᄅƆ⇂ᄅn | 50% | 190 |
| #4 | orazon | 46% | 94 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ƎƐ0ᄅn%Ǝ6ᄅ0n%lᄅƆ⇂ᄅn | 24 | 0.0064 |
| #2 | orazon | 4 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | KomKommer | 4 | 0.0050 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ƎƐ0ᄅn%Ǝ6ᄅ0n%lᄅƆ⇂ᄅn | 460 | 0.12 | 10 min |
| #2 | Sundrip ツ | 75 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #3 | orazon | 53 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #4 | KomKommer | 37 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KomKommer | +1.73 | 83 | 31 |
| #2 | ƎƐ0ᄅn%Ǝ6ᄅ0n%lᄅƆ⇂ᄅn | +1.57 | 81 | 48 |
| #3 | Sundrip ツ | +0.74 | 78 | 34 |
| #4 | Baconator | +0.69 | 79 | 44 |
| #5 | orazon | -2.94 | 32 | 34 |





