










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 124 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 58 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2000 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,207 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1073 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1653 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 1798 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 683 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $888,660 of utility $195 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 130 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sexhaver | 56% | 27 |
| #2 | dhong :3 | 54% | 13 |
| #3 | Big Man Inge | 50% | 12 |
| #4 | ZyxeL | 48% | 40 |
| #5 | AassPeek-Vermilion | 44% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | ZyxeL | 48% | 40 |
| #5 | AassPeek-Vermilion | 44% | 36 |
| #6 | Ninjapuddel ツ | 43% | 21 |
| #7 | ADi | 43% | 77 |
| #8 | PAS | 42% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ZyxeL | 5 | 0.0061 |
| #2 | ADi | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | AassPeek-Vermilion | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ZyxeL | 199 | 0.24 | 5 min |
| #2 | ADi | 152 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #3 | PAS | 85 | 0.24 | 2 min |
| #4 | sexhaver | 61 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #5 | dhong :3 | 47 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dhong :3 | +4.55 | 93 | 69 |
| #2 | ZyxeL | +3.02 | 74 | 73 |
| #3 | PAS | +1.53 | 71 | 65 |
| #4 | Axro | -0.04 | 66 | 51 |
| #5 | sexhaver | -0.81 | 80 | 65 |





