










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 131 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




34 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
398 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,868 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 870 | 47% |
| Smokes | 333 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 384 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 281 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $201,841 of utility $204 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 210 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BILL KOUGNOULES HORTEFEUX | 50% | 4 |
| #2 | RAGNAR le gentil NAZI | 32% | 19 |
| #3 | BILL KOUSEX HORTEGNOULES | 16% | 19 |
| #4 | Chachibre | 4% | 26 |
| #5 | Ben Dovah | 0% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BILL KOUGNOULES HORTEFEUX | 50% | 4 |
| #2 | RAGNAR le gentil NAZI | 32% | 19 |
| #3 | BILL KOUSEX HORTEGNOULES | 16% | 19 |
| #4 | Chachibre | 4% | 26 |
| #5 | Ben Dovah | 0% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BILL KOUSEX HORTEGNOULES | 26 | 0.1130 |
| #2 | Chachibre | 15 | 0.0399 |
| #3 | RAGNAR le gentil NAZI | 4 | 0.0143 |
| #4 | BILL KOUGNOULES HORTEFEUX | 4 | 0.1026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chachibre | 131 | 0.35 | 1 min |
| #2 | BILL KOUSEX HORTEGNOULES | 87 | 0.38 | 0 min |
| #3 | RAGNAR le gentil NAZI | 50 | 0.18 | 0 min |
| #4 | Ben Dovah | 14 | 0.30 | 0 min |
| #5 | BILL KOUGNOULES HORTEFEUX | 6 | 0.15 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BILL KOUGNOULES HORTEFEUX | +0.46 | 64 | 53 |
| #2 | AnalViking Adolf the beneficient | -0.87 | 67 | 44 |
| #3 | RAGNAR le gentil NAZI | -1.05 | 60 | 50 |
| #4 | BILL KOUSEX HORTEGNOULES | -3.04 | 42 | 25 |
| #5 | Chachibre | -3.37 | 32 | 33 |





