








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 172 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 299 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 38 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 44 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




49 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3557 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,996 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4804 | 40% |
| Smokes | 2425 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 2571 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2196 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,108,950 of utility $138 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1072 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BILL KOUSEX HORTEGNOULES | 32 | 0.0433 |
| #2 | AnalViking Adolf the beneficient | 18 | 0.0483 |
| #3 | Thierry La Fronde | 8 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | FatMax | 4 | 0.0046 |
| #5 | Ben Dovah | 3 | 0.0062 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AnalViking Adolf the beneficient | 313 | 0.84 | 2 min |
| #2 | BILL KOUSEX HORTEGNOULES | 158 | 0.21 | 1 min |
| #3 | [LFST] NooBiNooB | 133 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #4 | 𝕃𝕆ℂ𝕂𝕎𝕆𝕆𝔻 | 109 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #5 | Thierry La Fronde | 107 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FatMax | +0.85 | 52 | 50 |
| #2 | Chachibre | +0.84 | 60 | 62 |
| #3 | iLoonely | +0.61 | 52 | 50 |
| #4 | 𝕃𝕆ℂ𝕂𝕎𝕆𝕆𝔻 | +0.26 | 67 | 69 |
| #5 | BILL KOUSEX HORTEGNOULES | -0.32 | 44 | 34 |





