








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 450 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 213 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3169 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,239 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1086 | 15% |
| Smokes | 876 | 12% |
| HE Grenades | 2969 | 41% |
| Molotovs | 2308 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,199,146 of utility $153 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 73 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | louiee | 63% | 43 |
| #2 | Temi | 57% | 72 |
| #3 | spade | 55% | 29 |
| #4 | shroud | 53% | 58 |
| #5 | Frosty | 51% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Temi | 57% | 72 |
| #3 | spade | 55% | 29 |
| #4 | shroud | 53% | 58 |
| #5 | Frosty | 51% | 35 |
| #6 | Hello! | 50% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Temi | 8 | 0.0063 |
| #2 | Frosty | 5 | 0.0093 |
| #3 | louiee | 2 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | spade | 2 | 0.0050 |
| #5 | shroud | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | shroud | 131 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #2 | Temi | 100 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #3 | louiee | 68 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #4 | Hello! | 22 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| #5 | Frosty | 11 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | louiee | +2.18 | 94 | 59 |
| #2 | shroud | +2.17 | 75 | 56 |
| #3 | Hello! | +0.90 | 90 | 43 |
| #4 | Temi | +0.54 | 86 | 42 |
| #5 | Flo | -1.13 | 75 | 42 |





