








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 23 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 46 matches | ||
| Premier | 42 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1206 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,163 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 978 | 31% |
| Smokes | 703 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 674 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 808 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $379,010 of utility $173 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 65 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rudy | 71% | 7 |
| #2 | Jacob | 63% | 8 |
| #3 | The Mano | 50% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rudy | 71% | 7 |
| #2 | Jacob | 63% | 8 |
| #3 | The Mano | 50% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jacob | 3 | 0.0195 |
| #2 | The Mano | 1 | 0.0048 |
| #3 | Rudy | 1 | 0.0069 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Mano | 36 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #2 | Jacob | 30 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| #3 | Rudy | 23 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jacob | +2.74 | 70 | 66 |
| #2 | Rudy | +1.77 | 73 | 70 |
| #3 | Sane Sid | +0.94 | 75 | 54 |
| #4 | The Mano | -1.53 | 74 | 46 |





