








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 63 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 149 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1727 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,422 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1354 | 31% |
| Smokes | 1440 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 824 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 804 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $352,770 of utility $87 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 56 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KillToy (●'◡'●) | 58% | 19 |
| #2 | тħeøиαтøя | 53% | 15 |
| #3 | 𝙂𝓊𝒆ɲɲɪ★ | 48% | 33 |
| #4 | 0800backpapier | 44% | 25 |
| #5 | Geltles | 43% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | 0800backpapier | 44% | 25 |
| #5 | Geltles | 43% | 21 |
| #6 | Hummel187 | 31% | 16 |
| #7 | anna | 25% | 20 |
| #8 | Feasy | 22% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Geltles | 11 | 0.0244 |
| #2 | 𝙂𝓊𝒆ɲɲɪ★ | 4 | 0.0061 |
| #3 | 0800backpapier | 3 | 0.0055 |
| #4 | Hummel187 | 2 | 0.0059 |
| #5 | Feasy | 1 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 0800backpapier | 52 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #2 | 𝙂𝓊𝒆ɲɲɪ★ | 40 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #3 | Geltles | 39 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #4 | тħeøиαтøя | 27 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | anna | 26 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Geltles | +5.94 | 86 | 44 |
| #2 | тħeøиαтøя | +2.94 | 35 | 63 |
| #3 | 0800backpapier | +1.08 | 80 | 55 |
| #4 | 𝙂𝓊𝒆ɲɲɪ★ | -0.23 | 50 | 48 |
| #5 | Feasy | -1.60 | 58 | 47 |





