








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 119 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1216 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,581 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1360 | 38% |
| Smokes | 739 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1005 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 477 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $399,739 of utility $146 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 259 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | NeaW | 76% | 46 |
| #5 | C X Z i c h a n | 72% | 18 |
| #6 | Biene MAIYER du Schelm | 61% | 23 |
| #7 | That_High_Guy | 50% | 34 |
| #8 | Danhb45 | 38% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Danhb45 | 8 | 0.0078 |
| #2 | NeaW | 8 | 0.0094 |
| #3 | That_High_Guy | 7 | 0.0143 |
| #4 | Biene MAIYER du Schelm | 2 | 0.0046 |
| #5 | C X Z i c h a n | 1 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NeaW | 77 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #2 | C X Z i c h a n | 61 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #3 | That_High_Guy | 41 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #4 | Biene MAIYER du Schelm | 41 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | Danhb45 | 26 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NeaW | +18.41 | 100 | 71 |
| #2 | C X Z i c h a n | +1.80 | 81 | 75 |
| #3 | Gaylord69 | -0.55 | 74 | 51 |
| #4 | Trisselsten | -1.49 | 65 | 45 |
| #5 | That_High_Guy | -1.72 | 65 | 45 |





