








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 9 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3763 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,646 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 729 | 13% |
| Smokes | 1492 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1827 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 1598 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $318,981 of utility $100 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 82 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KartoffelKarl | 5 | 0.0205 |
| #2 | Biene MAIYER du Schelm | 4 | 0.0051 |
| #3 | Gaylord69 | 2 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | Tropico^ | 2 | 0.0033 |
| #5 | Trisselsten | 1 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | C X Z i c h a n | 221 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #2 | Gaylord69 | 92 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #3 | ✪ Choronicless | 86 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #4 | RiceCat | 49 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #5 | Trisselsten | 46 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NeaW | +15.95 | 100 | 65 |
| #2 | C X Z i c h a n | +1.26 | 83 | 75 |
| #3 | reMus | -0.07 | 73 | 51 |
| #4 | KartoffelKarl | -1.48 | 70 | 42 |
| #5 | RiceCat | -2.09 | 75 | 37 |





