








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 868 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 107 matches | ||
| Wingman | 99 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 39 matches | ||
| Premier | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




53 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3155 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,272 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2590 | 31% |
| Smokes | 1212 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 2657 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 1813 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,075,755 of utility $201 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1374 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TeatSan | 65% | 17 |
| #2 | Heroin Henning | 59% | 27 |
| #3 | ★ Havlit | 44% | 117 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TeatSan | 65% | 17 |
| #2 | Heroin Henning | 59% | 27 |
| #3 | ★ Havlit | 44% | 117 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Heroin Henning | 7 | 0.0139 |
| #2 | ★ Havlit | 3 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | TeatSan | 3 | 0.0084 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ★ Havlit | 456 | 0.18 | 13 min |
| #2 | TeatSan | 70 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #3 | Heroin Henning | 38 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TeatSan | +4.67 | 64 | 70 |
| #2 | turbo_tjalfe | +1.64 | 85 | 66 |
| #3 | ★ Havlit | +0.90 | 78 | 68 |
| #4 | Heroin Henning | -1.96 | 46 | 63 |





